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thE_kErnEl 
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 Ways to connect: |
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| Location: |
| Sioux Falls, South Dakota |  |
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| Club Affiliations: |
Falls Area Bicyclists
Sioux Empire Bicycle Club
CiTyBiLLyCyCle
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| Member Since: |
January 2005 |
 5 Year Distance Chart
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| 2025 Miles Traveled: |
0
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| 2025 Rank: |
currently unranked |
| Lifetime Odometer: |
13,004 miles
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History:
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The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. |
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